Sunday, May 3, 2009

I've Got My Mouthpiece...

Nah, I'm not talking about a mob lawyer. As a foreshadowing of aches and pains to come, our supply officer issued each of us a protective silicone mouth guard, like we wore when playing football in high school. It's for when we do "Combatives", which is the polite Army euphemism for "Beating the Crapola out of each other."  Fortunately I just watched the perfect instruction film to prepare me for this activity...The Wrestler, which featured an incredible performance by Mickey Rourke. I'm packing the tanning spray, blonde wig, and staple remover, and will be sure to rehearse all of the moves. (How does the "Leprechaun Leap" sound for my signature finale stunt?)  Key acronym for this situation: AED.


  1. "Leprechaun Leap" sounds like a trip to the ER!

  2. I'm setting up my account at the RTC medical clinic in advance, so there won't be any delays each time they bring me (and the Other Guy) in after I perform the "Leprechaun Leap" during combatives training. I just have to make sure that the ER staff doesn't cut off my green spandex ACUs, cuz those pro-wrestling costumes are ex-spensive!