Yeah, I was indeed doing a play on the old euphemism for "brassiere"...but I am instead extolling the virtues of my new, non-Army issue shoulder holster!
I saw a couple of agents in my detachment wearing what looked to be both practical and comfortable shoulder holsters. Since our issued weapon is a heavy steel-frame 9mm semi-auto pistol, wearing a belt-holster tends to pull my dress trousers down a bit...especially because I'm supposed to carry two additional magazines of ammo, and a pair of steel handcuffs (which the Army quaintly calls, "hand-irons".). That's a lot of weight hangin' on the old dress belt.
This shoulder holster, on the other hand, nicely distributes the weight of the pistol on one side, and both ammo magazines on the other, using very ergonomic leather shoulder straps. The whole package is very comfortable; I wore it all day today, and even forgot I had it on a couple of times.
Some additional benefits:
1. I can go to the latrine without finding a ledge in the stall to place my pistol on, as you gotta remove that 4-pound weight whenever you drop trou. This way I won't leave my pistol behind, like I did once a looooong time ago. (There's little that's more embarrassing than having the Sheriff drop by your desk, holding your pistol in his hand, asking, "So, is this yours?")
2. If terrorists attack the bathroom while I'm enthroned, at least my weapon is close at hand, even if I dive to the floor.
3. I look totally bitchen.
I've owned shoulder holsters in the past, both Army-issue and personally purchased, but they were all pretty much pieces of crap by comparison. This one, I think it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
NOTE: The brand/model of my new shoulder holster is the DeSantis "New York", lined, in always-fashionable black leather. It's kind of pricey, but you definitely get what you pay for. Plus, it really looks bitchen....