Saturday, February 13, 2010

Pathway to Reaching "Seriously Stupid"

Step One: Get your hands on some liquor, even though it's strictly prohibited here.

Step Two: Invite a co-worker of the opposite sex, who you know is gay, over to your quarters to discuss your marital problems.

Step Three: Become intoxicated.

Step Four: Try to rip your co-worker's clothing off and have sex with them.

Step Five: Discover while attempting to perform Step Four that your co-worker has a Black Belt in Tae-Kwon-Do, and REALLY takes offense at your actions.

Step Six: Kiss your $200,000/year contractor's job goodbye, in addition to suffering a broken nose and a possibly-torn knee ligament, which the government health insurance will not cover.

Step Seven: Congratulations! You've just achieved "Seriously Stupid" status. You may now depart Iraq. (Don't worry...your summons to U.S. Federal Court will follow you shortly!)


  1. i would say thanks for saving us the 200k- but the criminal proceeding will probably cost 6 times that...

  2. Surprisingly, Nephew, the federal criminal justice system is pretty darn efficient...for a government operation, anyway!

  3. The question: "What were you thinking?" applies on so many levels for this person (gender non-specific).


  4. Hi!-larious. (At least if you're not personally involved.)

    BTW: the gummint may not be perfectly efficient, but private industry idn't exactly either :P